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I'm a lot more confident now at 26. I used to be this very shy kid who refused to be separated from the 'rents. When my parents brought me to school, my dad used to stop at the same spot so I can throw up. When they dropped me off at the gate, a nun waited for me to drag me inside, comfort me and dry my tears and then bring me to the classroom. It's embarrassing, I know. The crying-during-first-week-of-school thing continued until 4th grade. 5th and 6th grade saw me as the quiet girl who hid behind a classmate's back to avoid being called to recite in class. My parents wondered what was wrong with me. Well now I can name a few:

1. being one of the quieter and shy kids, I was the favorite subject of bullies (believe it or not)
2. I didn't have any friends
3. now that I reflect on it, I didn't feel I had enough talent, brains, and looks to be liked by anybody -- in short, I had no confidence
4. I was CLUMSY and ACCIDENT PRONE!! I wasn't good enough to join any sport, I made mortal enemies because of my clumsiness (I spilled the lunch of a classmate accidentally and being kids, that was an unforgivable offense)

1991 - my parents wanted me to transfer during my last year in elementary (7th grade). We just moved to Quezon City and my school was in far away Manila. I used to be sickly and they determined that it was because of the traveling I had to do to and from school. I think this move was the best decision ever made. Being the new girl in school, a lot of attention was directed toward me. My new classmates were curious about everything - what school I came from and the like. My homeroom adviser then volunteered me to represent the class in a program during the first week of school. I had to go up on stage, say something, and show something (I forget what it was). This event elevated me to a different level...in my new school I was SOMEONE.

So what is the whole point of the story...I don't know. Haha! Well, I was reading an article earlier today with which I can totally relate to.  All the big issues I had when I was a kid seems like nothing now. It's amazing where the confidence I have now comes from because to tell you the truth, I'm still mostly all that I've enumerated above: I didn't grow up to be a swan, unfortunately (haha!), I haven't discovered any hiddent talent (yet!), and worse, I'm clumsier than ever. But as I grew older I learned to let things go...I don't care much about my image as I was when I was younger. I realized that there are much more important things than being pretty or dressing well and that other people outgrow that stage as well! As a teen some of the criteria you have for choosing a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend are looks, popularity. But that doesn't matter as much anymore once you join the real world outside of school...intelligence matters, personality, and even clumsiness is seen as cute..imagine that! Haha!

Anyways, this fact was actually shared to me by my parents but I was too young to understand and believe. I guess there are some lessons that you really need to learn yourself. I imagine that I'll be sharing the same with my own kids and who knows, they might be brighter than I am and learn this lesson well and early. Hehe.