3 reasons why I'm still awake at 11:44pm when my usual bedtime is at 10-1030:

1. I have indigestion, uughh...
2. to cure my indigestion I drank tea. Problem is I'm already out of jasmine tea and I only have Tazo English Breakfast tea. I think they call this the "Awake" tea at Starbucks. Bad choice
3. I'm testing an application which was supposed to be due for testing last week. The content provider and I only got it to work late this afternoon. Gosh...

So here I am, typing away in the middle of the night. Good news is I think the tea cured me. Anyway the content provider I'm coordinating with is out for his jog. He lives in another continent so I kinda have to adjust to his time to get things done and working. I'm just waiting for him to return so we can get started on the new bugs I encountered. Earlier today at work I couldn't wait to get home - to do what? Work?! I've been surfing while waiting and I encountered this tagline:

"Overime pays you more because of what you miss"

How true is that?! So now I've adopted that line as my guiding principle (even though I don't get paid overtime anymore). I even went as far as making it my status message on YM. Hahaha! I've experienced working on family memebers' birthdays, Holy Week (bad!), and other special occasions. I don't know how to change my priorities and learn how to de-stress. On one hand it's "trabaho lang yan" but on the other it's personal. My work and the results I produce reflect who I am so I can't just leave it be. And it's like, in every organization I join I feel this urge to defend and protect it...I become really attached so it's never only work for me. Hard to explain.

Anyway, where else has my surfing taken me tonight...well, I decided to visit my profile in the United Nations website. I've been wanting to try to find a job there. I know that eventually I'll be following a humanitarian track so I decided to try my luck. I never imagined how hard it is to join an organization to help mankind :P Reading through the qualifications, they're really after brilliant people and not just idealistic eager beavers that are willing to be thrown to wherever far flung place :p Going through the qualifications made me feel as if my 5 years of experience are worthless. Oh well. Maybe I just need to put in good references. Haha! :p

Earlier at lunch today Anne and I were discussing the future. Anne's husband accepted a job in Austria and it's just a matter of time before Anne joins him. Boo hoo! It got us discussing her/their plans and my plans. I do plan to study and work abroad for a while but Philippines is where my heart is...despite all the negative things happening now.

Being single and having the time and the world at the palm of your hand is positive and exciting, but at the same time it's stressful, it comes bundled with a lot of pressure and a few disadvantages. Just having to think and worry about yourself (where to study, what to study, what country you can apply as immigrant -- you literally have hundreds of nations to choose from) is advantageous because that's basically it -- you don't have to worry or think about anyone else.

• Some pressure is taken off your shoulders because you need not worry about feeding or clothing someone -- just watch Cinderella Man and you'll understand.
• If you choose to study and work in Africa, you don't have to uproot other individuals to go with you
• You don't need to discuss or explain your choice to anyone (this is not applicable to parents..)

That's why the advice usually given to me is to start and do all the things I want to do while I'm still single. Disadvantage for me: I think too hard and I get overwhelmed by all the choices I have.

Now being married and having decisions dependent on another is a good thing too. It pushes you to do things and then you just will yourself to succeed wherever that takes you. So, I do envy Anne. Sometimes the decision just has to be made for you to get your butt off the floor and drive you to places or things you only dreamed of visiting and doing.